Owari
by Akizuki Sai
Summary: I love him, he loved me and now he loves her and she loves him back, but what does that leave me? an ET fic in the perspective of Kaho Mizuki
1. Default Chapter

Weary cherry eyes fluttered open, partially blinded by the sun's rays seeping from the plush dark blue curtains in the circular library that winter morning.

Along stacks of paper and several creased and crumpled ones were burgundy stresses spread out being ruffled by the wind from the slightly open window.

By the glass cabinet situated near the door was a reflection of a pale woman in her early 30's slightly rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I fell asleep," she said to herself, turning her gaze to her wrinkled black dress to the heap of papers before her.

She sighed.

Out of the corner of her eye she looked at the grandfather clock beside the glass cabinet.

It read a quarter past eight. If she cleans up fast enough she can still make it for her first class in the university.

Standing up, she stacked the papers into a neat pile atop her desk and walked to the bathroom by the second floor. The house was deafeningly quiet and she finds the atmosphere depressing than ever.

Unclothing herself, she mechanically took a shower, her thoughts drifting to some place far away.

"_Baka…"_ she muttered under her breath, her eyes starting to swell with tears.

* * *

_Even if my memory were to fail me_

_In the future, I would still be able to _

_Walk with certainty, the footsteps of_

_My soul…_

**Ye Si1948**

**Transcendence and Fax machine**

* * *

"Mizuki-san?" a russet haired man said upon sight of the red-haired woman in the busy faculty room. "Aren't you on leave?"

"Terada-kun," Mizuki Kaho said turning to her colleague.

"Are you feeling better now? You should be resting," Terada Yoshiyuki said walking towards her.

Kaho meekly nodded and averted her gaze to the framed picture in her desk. "I need to forget… or at least distract myself – somehow… so I…" she said, lowering her head.

* * *

**Owari**

**A 2-part ET fic by Akizuki Sai**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **This is the first and last time I'll be saying this: I own no CCS, just my weird plot. Thank you.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" the usually chirpy Nakuru icily said upon sight of the red-haired woman by the front door of the Kinimoto residence.

"Nakuru-san, who's… Mizuki-sensei!" Sakura said appearing by the foyer with her one-year old Nadeshiko, an apron around her waist.

"Good afternoon," Kaho greeted quietly bowing down.

"It's chilly outside, please get in," Sakura said giving Nakuru a pleading look before widely opening the door to let her former teacher in.

The moon guardian then gave a careless shrug and walked out of the room.

"I'm…" Sakura started.

"It's okay, I understand. She has every reason to be mad at me," Kaho said dismissively.

"Please have a seat while I go get us some tea," Sakura said prompting Kaho to seat by the sofa.

"Let me help you," Kaho said standing up.

"It's okay, please watch over Na-chan for me, instead," Sakura said in her usual cheery voice leaving Kaho with her daughter before she could react.

Kaho smiled.

"Where are Li-kun and the others?" she asked eyeing the room. The Kinimoto residence hasn't changed that much since the last time she visit, save from the growing number of framed pictures all over the place.

It was warm and inviting as ever, unlike her abode.

"… Syao-kun's with Otousan buying things we'll need for Na-chan's birthday party tomorrow, Oniichan on the other hand has work… is green tea fine with you?" Sakura asked from the kitchen.

"Yes, please," Kaho said watching over little Nadeshiko fiddle with her toys. She looks every inch like her late grandmother except for her eyes which are flaming amber like her father's.

"You're staying here for the holidays?" Kaho asked.

"Yes, we spent it last year in Hong Kong, so this time we decided to have it here in Tomoeda," Sakura said entering the room with a tray of tea and cakes.

"Na-chan loves it here," she said taking a seat on an armchair accidentally knocking a mahogany music box by a side table.

On cue a lullaby played.

"Yasa sa Tane…" Nadeshiko cooed crawling to the box excitedly.

Sakura beamed with pride. "She meant Yasashisa no Tane… she still can't work on her shi's and ri's,"

"Tomoyo-chan always lulls her to sleep… Syao-kun and I are terrible singers so we sometimes use the Song card to do it,"

"Tomo-_oba_? 'kasan, Tomo-_oba wa_?" Nadeshiko asked around the room hearing her favorite aunt's name.

Kaho's eyes widened.

"No, Na-chan… Aunty Tomoyo's not here… she... she won't be around to sing from now, I thought mommy told you already," Sakura said carrying her daughter as her eyes starts to water.

"_Doushite?_" Nadeshiko asked innocently, tugging on her mother's sleeve.

"She's with your Obaasan, already," Sakura replied running a hand on Nadeshiko's wavy hair.

"In heaven?" Nadeshiko asked again.

"…Y-Yes… in heaven…" Sakura said finding it harder to find her voice.

"And Uncle Eliol?" Nadeshiko asked again,

"Y-yes… and Uncle Eriol," Sakura said a tear escaping her eye. Kaho looked down, tears wetting her clenched fists atop her skirt. She hastily wiped her eyes dry.

"I better go now, I just drop by to give my present to Nadeshiko-chan," she said standing up and handing a pink bunny with a big white ribbon to Nadeshiko and rushing to the door.

"Aren't you going to the party tomorrow?" Sakura asked walking after her.

"I'm afraid I can't," Kaho said. "Please give my regards to your family,"

Sakura nodded and was surprised to find her former teacher embrace her.

"_Arigatou_," she whispered letting her go and walking out of the house before Sakura could utter a word.

"_Sensei…"_

* * *

**Dedicated to Bloody-Stiletto-chan:** How are you? The whole fic is for you.

* * *

_Come to me in the silence of the night_

_Come in the speaking silence of a dream_

_Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright_

_As sunlight on a stream_

_Come back in tears_

_O memory, hope, love of finished years…_

**Christina Rosetti 1830-1894**

**Echo**

* * *

**Date: **December 7, 2011

**Time: **11:45 pm

This is my first entry in this journal. A student gave it to me as a New Year's gift but my then journal still has a number of pages left and it was only till the other day when I got to fill it in with my writing.

I quiet had a hard time finding this one in my closet.

Things at the university are busier than usual today. Many things have to be done for the upcoming Winter Festival and there is very little time to do it. The students are ecstatic though and their chatter is overwhelming. I guess I got pretty much carried away I got home around eleven in the evening. A student drove me home.

I found Eriol sleeping by the sofa with Spinel Sun whose mouth was full of chocolate. Nakuru-san was snoring by the fireplace. I have a hunch they had another sugar attack. We always have one, about an average of three or five times a day. It can be quiet a handful. I told them to limit Spinel Sun with sweets but they don't seem to listen.

I didn't want to disturb their sleep but being the klutz that I am created a fiasco when I stepped on a candle by the door.

Eriol seemed pretty upset that I missed dinner and didn't seem interested at all to listen to my reasons.

It wasn't like I always miss dinner with him.

Men can be immature at times.

Oh, well.

* * *

**Date: **December 8, 2011

**Time: **9:13 am

I feel miserable.

Yesterday was our anniversary and there I was lamenting about men's immaturity when I was the one at fault.

I can't believe I actually forgot.

I really feel guilty.

Earlier this morning he barely uttered a word to me.

Maybe I'll make it up to him by preparing a special dinner tonight.

Speaking of dinner, if I want to be home early I need to get back to my class. I'll write again.

* * *

I now know how it feels when someone stood you up.

Eriol did – well, not exactly anyway. He and his guardians went out for pizza. They thought I'd come home late again.

They made a note about it by the phone – which, I only noticed after I'm through cooking.

By the time they got home I was asleep by the sofa. Eriol woke me up.

I guess we're even now.

He told me he just got a letter from Sakura-chan. She and Li-kun are finally getting engaged. She sent in plane tickets and invitations for everyone. They wanted us to spend the holidays in Hong Kong with them.

It would be nice to spend the holidays with Sakura-chan and the others in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, the engagement party coincides with my class's presentation for the Winter Festival.

I miss Sakura-chan. Due to my piling work at the university I no longer get to exchange letters with her and the rest of my former students in Tomoeda.

Eriol's been keeping in touch with them since he left for England. He and Sakura-chan often exchange letters. He had communication with Daidouji-san till she's in Junior High but lose contact when her mother sent her to New York. And up to now Li-kun doesn't seem to be too happy hearing from him – apparently he still can't get over Eriol's teasing back then.

I kind of miss the good old days.

* * *

"_I never was in love, yet the voice and image of a woman haunted me these days…"_

**John Keats 1795-1821**

**Letter to John Hamilton Reynolds**

* * *

**Date: **December 8, 2011

**Time: **9:13 pm

The house is as busy as the university. Nakuru and Spinel Sun literally turned the house upside down packing their things for their trip at the last minute.

They'll be leaving for Hong Kong this afternoon. I can't drive them to the airport as I have an important faculty meeting.

They'll be spending the holidays there. I'll stay at home and party with my colleagues.

Eriol seems a bit distracted. He's been like that for the last few days.

I've been asking him what's bothering him but he would always say he's okay and change the topic.

He hasn't been sleeping well too.

The other day, he got out of bed at around one in the morning and had half a bottle of wine. I didn't go after him as I thought he needs some time alone. I later found him by the throne of evil in the library buried in a heap of crumpled papers.

When I looked at each and one of them they all contain the same phrase: _"I know those eyes. I know that image. But somehow… I can't seem to remember…"_

It doesn't make any sense at all. I asked him about it later on during breakfast but he merely shrugged it off and said it was just a random thought.

I didn't know writing about something over and over in seventy-two pieces of paper can be considered a random thought.

* * *

**Date: **December 19, 2011

**Time: **11:08 am

I've been very busy the last few days I didn't get to write at all.

Today is Sakura-chan and Li-kun's engagement party. Since I couldn't come I decided to give them a call during my vacant period at the university.

They all seem to be having fun. I could practically hear everyone's cheery chatter and the waltz playing.

I checked on Eriol through Sakura-chan and she told me that he's been pretty moody when he arrived. But is starting to be cheerful later that evening. She said he's chatting with Daidouji-san and the others and seems to be enjoying himself. She was to give the phone to Eriol but I needed to hang-up already. A couple of students had a fight across the hall.

Hearing Sakura-chan's report about Eriol relieves me. I'm glad he's starting to be cheery. I guess meeting his old friends after years of no contact from each other is really important to him.

Somehow… I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy to those in Hong Kong. I feel useless being unable to comfort him at all.

But then again, there will always be gaps in his heart that I know I cannot fill – that I will never be able to fill…

* * *

**Date: **December 25, 2011

**Time: **10:24 pm

This is my first Christmas without Eriol ever since we got together. Usually, we would celebrate Christmas with a simple dinner wither at the manor or at a first-class hotel and watch the fireworks display by the Big Ben.

Last year we spent Christmas in Paris. Eriol and I had dinner at a first-class hotel overlooking the Eiffel Tower. It was wonderful – not to mention, romantic.

I visited a friend earlier and didn't get to answer Eriol's phone call. They left a message on the answering machine instead. Eriol didn't get to say much as Nakuru-chan and the others are trying to snatch the phone from him and greet me as well.

Eriol's voice is happier than usual I could imagine him smiling that grin of his.

They all seem to be enjoying themselves and somehow I feel torn with emotions that of joy and jealousy.

I'm happy that Eriol's happy but I can't help to feel jealous thinking that – how can he be so happy without me?

* * *

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Sai-chan: **To those who have read Owari, I needed to edit some grammatical and typographical errors. I hope you don't mind. Also, I noticed some conflict with the year, considering Nadeshiko's age and changed it from 2012 to 2011. My apologies for my carelessness.

Most ET stories either use an omniscient point of view or that of Eriol's and Tomoyo's and I kind of thought – why not Kaho? Hopefully, she's not pretty much out of character here, it's just the way I see her and her relationship with Eriol.

Nevertheless, make my day and review, ne?

* * *


	2. Regrets

Hi! I know I promised to update by the first week of May but things all piled up and I needed to proofread the second part a number of times till I'm half-heartedly satisfied. Gomen!

And since this is the last part of Owari I wish to thank those who reviewed:

**Crystal-shian:** I don't like Kaho and Eriol being together too ET rulez! You're right. I thought so too. Majority of the ET fics in the net always put Kaho in the side (not that I mind) but then again, I thought it would be better if I base my story to the real pairing and then divert it to ET. Tomoyo herself noted in the manga how kind Eriol's eyes are when he looks at Kaho. Thank you so much!

**Arika-Chan: **You think so? Thank you!

**RequiemElise: **Thank you so much! Hope you're brain's till intact – here's the update!

**Umi: **Thank you!

**Tomoyo129: **Thanks a lot. All your questions will be answered in this part. Hope you like it!

**Wind and Flame: **My first reviewer! Thank you!

* * *

_Music when soft voices die_

_Vibrates in the memory_

_Odours when sweet violets sicken_

_Live within the sense they quicken_

_Rose leaves when the rose is dead_

_And heaped for the beloved's bed_

_And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,_

_Love itself shall slumber on…_

**Percy Bysshe Shelley 1792-1822**

**To-**

* * *

Kaho Mizuki crossed the streets of Tomoeda with an expressionless look on her face, her hands wrapped around two bouquets of roses like as if it's the most precious thing in the world.

The wind was playing with her hair and she had to stop in a corner and set down the roses in the concrete pavement to secure her burgundy stresses with her handkerchief.

With her hair done she bent down to retrieve the roses and walked her way to the hill across Penguin Park.

She then felt something cold touch her cheek and she paused too look at the sky.

"_Yuki_…" she said to herself watching the white flakes land on her dress and roses.

She shivered.

Taking a deep breath she continued her walk and stopped in front of a barren cherry tree and sat down on bended knee in front of two granite sepulchers.

Wordlessly, she placed the roses in the crypts and shed her tears under the moonlight…

"_Gomen nasai… hontoni... gomen nasai…_" she choked in her tears.

Two hours later the Li's received a phone call stating Mizuki Kaho's death.

She was found in front of Hiirigizawa Eriol and Daidouji Tomoyo's graves, her blood staining the snow covered ground.

A passer-by found her with a knife and a blood stained journal partially covered with crimson rose petals blown by the wind.

* * *

**Owari**

**By: Akizuki Sai**

**Part II: Regrets**

* * *

**Date: **January 1, 2012

**Time: **9:00 am

I tried reading the future through the moon shrine earlier and saw visions that deeply worry me.

My visions aren't that clear but I'm pretty certain that something terrible is going to happen in the year ahead.

_Rain…Rope… and Blood…_

I pray to the heavens that nothing bad will happen to everyone close to me. It will break my heart if there is.

Eriol is still in Hong Kong by the way. He and his guardians will stay there for another week and are planning to visit Tomoeda with Daidouji-san for a couple of days. He phoned in earlier for their sudden change of plans.

We were supposed to celebrate New Year's Eve together but apparently they enjoy the people from Hong Kong's company than mine.

My friend and colleague Tamara keeps on teasing me earlier that Eriol probably found a younger, prettier, sexier, smarter and nicer woman in Hong Kong to celebrate New Year's Eve with and little old me who is left here in England will live as a sour grape who will slowly turn into a prune for the rest of my life.

**Hilarious.**

* * *

**Date: **January 10, 2012

**Time: **10:13 pm

Today's activities were exhausting.

Eriol arrived this afternoon and I cleaned the whole house, changed the drapes, put in plenty of flowers and dressed up extra nicely. He doesn't seem to notice anything at all though as he went straight to bed upon his arrival.

He must be really tired.

Right now, I'm staring at his sleeping figure in the bed we shared… in the room we shared.

I miss him. He seems so near, the same time far away from me.

He looks so peaceful in his sleep. Just like a child. Something seems different about him tonight though.

I don't know what but there's something about him I can't put my finger on.

He's different. He's changed.

My Eriol's changed.

* * *

**Date: **January 17, 2012

**Time: **9:13 pm

Things between me and Eriol are now headed from bad to worse.

I hate to admit this but Eriol and I are drifting apart – or at least he is from me.

We rarely talk.

During breakfast he would be on the phone talking to Daidouji-san about music, work or preparations for Sakura-chan's wedding or if not he would be too busy in his office or the piano to even notice me saying goodbye on my way to work.

He no longer calls me during my vacant periods in the university or send me notes or flowers like he usually does either.

When I get home he'd either be cooped in his office or fast asleep in the sofa.

It's like as if I don't exist.

This morning he told me that Daidouji-san is coming to London in two days and will stay in the house for a week.

It was not a suggestion. It was a statement. The Eriol I know would always consult me when it comes to making decisions. Not that I don't want Daidouji-san to stay in the house but somehow I don't know where I stand in Eriol's life anymore.

* * *

**Date: **January 23, 2012

**Time: **8:45 pm

I thought I'd go home early from the university today and have tea with Eriol and Daidouji-san to catch up with old times. Tea went out well with me and Daidouji-san indulging over Eriol's lavender tea and oatmeal cookies.

Daidouji-san's grown to be a beautiful woman full of heart and wit over the 14 years we haven't seen each other.

She's visiting London for a fashion show she's holding and is very excited about it. Three years of modeling and she finally earned enough capital to start a fashion firm of her own.

She will be taking over her mother's post in their company on her 25th birthday.

She's really come a long way.

Eriol offered to play the piano in the show – his first appearance after years of absence as an acclaimed pianist.

Daidouji-san was ecstatic.

I envy her.

Eriol never offered to play for anybody even for me.

* * *

_Kaho,_

_I'm sorry but things between us aren't the same anymore. You changed and so did I._

_We both changed and drifted apart. _

_We both need to go on with our lives – alone._

_Take care of yourself._

_Eriol_

* * *

**Date: **July 23, 2013

**Time:** 9:10 pm

It's been a year and five months since Eriol left.

And it's been a year and five months since my heart is in weeping.

He'll be back. I know he'll be back.

Till then I'll wait.

* * *

**Date: **August 13, 2013

**Time: **10:17 am

I honestly don't know what I'm doing right now.

One minute I was overhearing my colleagues whispering about Eriol and Daidouji-san being a couple and now I'm in a plane headed to Tomoeda.

I need to know for myself.

This just can't be. This just can't be…

* * *

**Date: **August 29, 2013

**Time: **11:45 pm

I'm a fool. Not to mention, a coward.

There I was trying to put a brave face when I saw Eriol and Daidouji-san together, inwardly telling myself to walk right up to him and slap him hard on the face and tell him that I don't give a damn about him, that in the end he'll realize his lost and come back to me in bended knee and all.

I really was about to face him but when I saw him laugh and smile by something Daidouji-san said something stopped me from doing so.

I never saw Eriol's eyes light up like that. He looked so…so… happy.

I never saw him like that even with me.

Does that mean he loves her?

I love him, he loved me and now he loves her and she loves him back. But what about me?

I love him more than life itself, isn't that enough for him? What does he see in Daidouji-san that he doesn't see in me?

* * *

**Date: **September 3, 2013

**Time: **3:58 am

It all happened so fast.

I can't believe it.

I _don't_ believe it.

I thought nothing could be more painful than the idea of not having Eriol in my life, but why am I in so much pain now?

My arm hurts and so is my heart.

The doctor said my arm will be okay in a month or two but I doubt if my heart will be better by then as well.

Maybe it won't be better, not then, not now and not ever.

She died because of me and I'll forever be guilty of her death.

I was furious. All my emotions just exploded then. I was yelling at her and Eriol at the top of my lungs. I didn't care if it was raining so hard and that it was the middle of the night, for me it was a sign of the heaven's sympathy to me. _For my lost._

She tried pacifying me but I was too furious, too hurt and too stupid to listen to her.

Instead I cursed her and Eriol, yelling my hate for them, that they'll never be happy. I was too caught up with showing them how hurt I am to notice the speeding car.

The next thing I knew I was pushed to the side. I felt my arm hit the pavement and I heard Eriol scream.

The rain blinded my eyes but it didn't prevent me from seeing Eriol's heart breaking as he cradled Tomoyo's body dearly.

_Kami-sama, what have I done?_

* * *

_I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. For a few weeks I was alive while she loved me…_

**Humphrey Bogart 1899-1957**

Said as Dixon Steele

**In a Lonely Place, Andrew Salt**

* * *

**Date: **December 13, 2013

**Time: **7:35 pm

She's dead.

And now he's dead.

I found him in his room when I brought him dinner.

I was too late.

He could not take her lost. I thought I could replace her but he already closed the doors of his heart.

He hates me. I can't blame him, he has every reason to do so.

I ruined everything for him, all because of my selfishness.

I was too blind to see that he and Daidouji-san deserve each other.

Today was his interment. He's resting right beside the woman he loved the most.

Right now I'm hurting so much. The feeling is like having a big hole in my heart that makes it hard to breathe.

Everywhere I look I see them smile and laugh at each other just before I confronted them. I can't take my thoughts of them, they just keep coming.

I can't stop crying either. Strangely, the tears keep flowing without my assent.

* * *

_Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, "Did you bring joy?" The second was, "Did you find joy?"  
_

**--Leo Buscaglia**

* * *

Sakura wiped the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand and closed the leather bound journal.

Everything written in it was painful, for her teacher who loved and lost, for Eriol and Tomoyo who loved and died and for her and everyone else who loved the three of them but weren't able to do anything to protect them.

Regrets always come in the end after all, not in the beginning, not in the middle, always in the end.

It's over. The pages were turned and they cannot go back.

"Sakura," Syaoran said disrupting her thoughts, worry painted in his features. They just arrived from the morgue and while he made some tea for them Sakura started to skim the journal that was last found with their late teacher.

"Syao-kun, gomen… I…" Sakura said wiping the freshly formed tears in her eyes yet again.

"Are you okay?" the young Li clan leader asked his wife.

"Yeah… it's just that, it's just that… I feel terrible about what happened to them…" Sakura said stifling her sob. Syaoran held her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"It's okay…" Syaoran said giving his wife a one arm hug. Sakura rested her head in his shoulders and started crying.

"They were all blinded by love," Syaoran said in a bare whisper.

Sakura looked at him.

"Mizuki-_sensei_ was too blind to see Eriol and Tomoyo's love for each other while Eriol and Tomoyo were too blind to realize that Mizuki-_sensei_ was hurting… they all just did what their hearts dictated them to do, what they think would make them happy…"Syaoran explained looking at Sakura's eyes then at their daughter Nadeshiko who was playing with her toy bunnies in her play pen.

"…but happiness comes at a price… not everyone gets to have it – at least for a moment. There will always come a point where a person can feel bliss in his/her life. It can be yesterday, the other day, today, tomorrow… anytime, just not all the time," Syaoran continued.

"Why can't people be happy all the time? Wouldn't that be better?" Sakura asked like a child.

"No, it wouldn't," Syaoran said tucking a stray strand of Sakura's hair behind her ear." It would just spoil the happiness. It will be taken for granted… because it's always there…"

"What should we do then?" Sakura asked snuggling closer to Syaoran.

"Live," Syaoran answered simply.

Sakura's eyes watered.

She understood and the tears continued to fall.

* * *

Again, I corrected some typographical and grammatical errors. I hope you guys don't mind.

I needed to adjust the year on the previous chapter due to Nadeshiko's age as Sakura can't possibly give birth to a year old baby at once. Also, taking note of Wind and Flame's comment about the Swiss knife, I changed it into a knife… _smiles_…I made some of the entries short as I think depressed people don't write too long and go straight to the point when they're hurt. I originally intended to keep Kaho alive but my sister insists that she dies – she hates her that much.

Oh well.

This story has a number of symbols and parallelisms. I don't know if anyone noticed it. Anyway, the side story to this fic, **The Firefly **is already out.This time it's purely ET and is about how Eriol and Tomoyo met in Sakura's engagement party and how the rest fall into place.

Please do review ne?

Till next time !

Sai-chan

* * *


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